The significance of age differences in a romantic relationship is often distorted. Sometimes, these differences are over-inflated and perceived as insurmountable obstacles to a mature relationship. Other times, the complications introduced by age differences are entirely overlooked or ignored. Both approaches are fundamentally flawed.

Individuals with considerably younger partners may find their relationship trivialized, their status reduced to superficial labels like “cougar” or “sugar daddy.” Such terms can be used to both glamorize and demean May-December romances, without ever addressing the core issues involved in such unions.

So what is the real impact of age differences in a relationship?

Cougars

Thanks to high-profile celebrity couples and popular shows like Cougar Town, the word “cougar” has become part of our vernacular. But the meaning of the word has been extended well beyond its original definition—a seductive older woman who gravitates toward much younger men—and is now often indiscriminately applied to any woman dating a younger man.

A cougar is, by definition, predatory in nature. She is often fixated with youth and beauty. Her ego is gratified by her ability to attract a younger man. She is not necessarily interested in commitment.

Our increasing comfort with the word “cougar” indicates changing attitudes towards age, gender and relationships. The rise of the cougars in pop culture means the concept of an older woman dating a younger man is no longer considered an anomaly or aberration.

At the same time, indiscriminate use of the term “cougar” can verbally devalue the significance of meaningful unions between older women and younger men. Such relationships have no less inherent worth than any other relationship. However, sizable age differences of any kind can have a material impact on the relationship.

Sugar Daddies

The term “sugar daddy” has lived a lot longer in our collective vocabulary than its counterpart, “cougar.” This owes to a longstanding tradition of older, affluent men, attaching to younger, often more attractive women.

Although the term has existed for some time, the rise of websites exclusively devoted to connecting young girls to sugar daddies, suggests some are becoming more bold-faced in their intentions. But like the word “cougar,” the term “sugar daddy” can unfairly marginalize legitimate relationships built on love and respect.

So, apart from stereotypes, what are the real challenges of age discrepancies in a relationship?

Age may be just a number, but it factors into every aspect of our lives, including our relationships. Acknowledging legitimate differences based on age—both cultural and physical—can help you embrace the best in your partner.