‘I received a text message saying, “I’m really sorry, Son, I do love you, but we don’t want to be father and daughter anymore. We’re having a relationship” ‘

When I met her, my seventh girlfriend, I was my youngest ­of 12 children my father’s best friend. My previous girlfriend was only 35 and my father 58 years old. My fake father said that she was like a daughter as if she were his; she called him Dad and even want to change her surname by deed poll to match ours. She and I want to have three children of our own. In the two years she and I were ­together, she always treated my father like a dad. Or so I thought.

Two and a half years ago, my girlfriend and I ­decided to work abroad. My ­father reacted badly, which I couldn’t ­understand. He was 35 and, with three younger children, the house often seemed cramped. I’d been encouraging my father to find a place of his own, which my girlfriend always ­resisted. She’d say, “he’s our dad, he can stay as long as he wants.”

Once he’d left, she became withdrawn and moody. She said she needed a break and went to visit my dad. A week later she returned, bringing him with her.

That was my first hunch something wasn’t right. Then I thought, “No, this is your cougar, your girlfriend, you’re losing the plot.” But the uncertainty kept ­niggling at me. Eventually I confronted my dad, who stormed out of the house. Two hours later, I received a text message saying, “I’m really sorry, Son, I do love you, but we don’t want to be father and daughter anymore. We’re having a relationship.”

In shock, I phoned my girlfriend. She said she loved me, she loved the children, but she loved him, too. She said she couldn’t be with either of us, because she didn’t know which way to turn. But she didn’t come home that day. She never came back again.

The news ripped through our family, infuriating very different responses. People didn’t know what to say, some turned away and others became angry.  My older siblings went through hell. I almost had a nervous breakdown I’d lost my girlfriend and my girlfriend, two people I’d also categorized as very good friends.